Finding the right hostel can be challenging at first, especially for a gay backpacker, whether it’s your first time backpacking for a few weeks around Europe or a year-long trip around Asia.

Over the last ten years, I have stayed in every type of accommodation, from hostels in Hanoi to luxury hotels in central London to eco-friendly gay-only hostels. All have a place in any gay man’s travel plans, but the type of accommodation I return to again and again is hostels. Social, budget-friendly, and centrally located- on the surface, what’s not to like? However, finding the right hostel requires careful consideration. Factors like location, safety, and inclusivity are crucial. Look for hostels with good reviews, LGBTQ-friendly policies, and social spaces to connect with other travellers. A little research can ensure a comfortable and enjoyable stay.

I have backpacked across Europe, Asia, and the Pacific, and choosing the right hostel can make or break a trip. Take it from me: I have stayed in some fantastic hostels. Some blew my mind with their value for money and available spaces. Other hostels caused me anxiety and completely ruined the destination (I’m looking at you, Sydney) until I got out of them. Choosing the right hostel for you can enhance your destination experience, but how do you find the perfect one? 

When I stayed in my first hostel, I didn’t know how to act and was terrified that the film “Hostel” would come true for me. However, over the next few days, I made friends with whom I’m still in contact. Once my anxiety was lifted, I had the best time. I was 18, and the drinking didn’t stop, which at the time was exactly what I wanted. Nowadays, I look for more relaxed hostels that enhance a destination rather than focus on drinking and shaking beds.

This short guide will equip you with the tools and knowledge to book a great hostel as a gay backpacker or traveller. One thing I always do when choosing hostels is trust my instincts. 

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The Hostel Experience 

Firstly, hostels have come a long way since the 90s and even the 00s. They are no longer the dingy, dirty places you once travelled to without money. Many are modern and stylish, offering good privacy. If you’ve never stayed in a hostel, I recommend giving it a try.

Hostels around the world typically differ in amenities. In Asia, you typically won’t find communal kitchens because eating out or enjoying street food is often more affordable. Around Australia, many hostels feature amazing outdoor spaces for socialising. In Europe, many hostels offer free beer at certain times of the day to promote social engagement.

Hostels offer a range of accommodation types, including private rooms and large dormitories. The largest dorm I have ever stayed in was in Fiji, housing 32 other backpackers. It was called the Paradise dorm… It wasn’t, but it allowed me to experience that island on a budget. 

Hostels are more social than other types of accommodation. If you are on a solo trip and don’t want to feel lonely, consider staying in a hostel. You will meet others who might want to visit the same attractions as you. I have stayed in multiple Asian hostels for around $10 USD per night. As long as you have enough money to get to Asia, you can afford the accommodation. 

The hostel experience can vary significantly from one location to another. Therefore, it is essential to establish your standards and consider your preferences before booking. Some questions to ask yourself include: Would I be comfortable staying in a mixed dorm? Would I prefer a curtain for privacy while in bed? Would I rather have a private room? Do I want to party?  

Non-negotiables

As a gay man, you will need certain non-negotiables when booking hostels. These guidelines are meant to establish and ensure a minimum level of comfort at your hostel. They can include anything from proximity to the city centre to being near a gay bar; the list goes on. I never compromise on my non-negotiables, and if I do, it’s only when there are no other options available, as was the case with my experience in Fiji at the’ paradise dorm.”

My non-negotiables are as follows;

• Must have at least one plug socket next to my bed
• Must have a small reading light for individual use 
• Must have a locker to secure my valuables
• Must have a privacy curtain over my bed (if not, then I should be able to create my own with a towel)

These basic booking rules enable me to travel in hostels with the assurance that my stay will be comfortable. You can typically determine whether a hostel offers these amenities through several resources, including the hostel’s website, a booking site’s description, images of the dorms, and written reviews.

Personal Preference

We all have our preferences, and I figured mine out pretty quickly regarding hostels. These preferences influence how you view various hostels: whether they are party-oriented or chill. Even the biggest party animal couldn’t manage more than a week at some of the party hostels I’ve experienced before. 

Things to consider for your preference list include: Does the hostel offer tours, have a bar, or provide male-only dorms? 

My preferences are as follows;

• Is the hostel gay owned?
• Is this a hostel exclusively for gay men, or do they offer male-only dorms?
• Does the hostel have a swimming pool?
• Dorms no bigger than eight people?
• Are the beds made of wood?

The preferences regarding their concerns are clear. I enjoy supporting the gay community globally. The pool is enjoyable to use when travelling to hot regions or during summer. The reason it is male-only is that there’s no need to cover up while changing. Additionally, I’ve had a few pleasant experiences in male-only dorms since what straight backpacker would choose to book male-only accommodations?

If you are currently travelling in Asia, check out my guide to Chiang Mai, as there is a gay hostel resort in the city, Club One Seven, with dorms available, fun guaranteed.

Hostel Etiquette

So, you’ve arrived at your hostel, checked in, and been shown to your dorm, but now what? Where do you put your things? Can you turn the air conditioner on? Are you allowed to drink in the room? All these questions will typically be addressed within the first 24 hours of your stay.

Firstly, never watch anything on your phone or laptop without your headphones. It drives me insane when people do this, and yes, I am the guy who will passive-aggressively say something.

If you are getting up early for a tour or checkout, avoid turning on the main light, unless absolutely necessary and be quiet. You don’t have to tiptoe around, but slamming the door or speaking to your friend is a no-no. 

Regarding the air conditioning, if you are too hot, turn it on, or if you are too cold, turn it off. If anyone else is in the room, just say, “Do you mind if I turn the air conditioning on?” I have never had anyone refuse my request before.

Hostels usually have rules that cover most other things, such as noise or drinking; if they don’t, you can usually just observe what your roommates do and gauge the vibe. I wouldn’t recommend sleeping naked unless in a gay hostel, and I would always recommend covering up when getting changed unless in a gender-segregated area such as the locker room or a male-only dorm.

Hostel Reviews

So you have found a hostel and you like the look of it in terms of facilities and location. Book away, no? No, check those reviews on Hostelworld, booking.com and Google. Also, check out the photos on those Google reviews, as they are user-submitted, providing a good indication of whether to book or not.

If you’re just starting your backpacking trip or haven’t stayed in hostels much yet, I would recommend choosing hostels with lots of good reviews, so you know it’s genuine. Hostels sometimes disappear and reappear with a new name and few reviews. I would avoid these unless necessary.

Think of reading reviews as you would before going to a restaurant; if there are numerous complaints, don’t book. Especially if those negative reviews were published recently.

Booking Hostels 

So, how will you book your hostels? In my opinion, there are three main ways to book your hostel;

• Hostelworld 
• Booking.com
• Directly with the hostel (Don’t do this in advance, only to extend your stay)

As a backpacker, especially a solo backpacker, I would strongly recommend Hostelworld. The reason is the feature of being able to chat with other travellers who have booked through their platform. This is essential if you are new to backpacking and not yet confident about approaching other backpackers and introducing yourself. Message if anyone wants to get a coffee in Hanoi or meet up for a few drinks in Bangkok. 

Who hasn’t heard of Booking.com these days? It’s great because of its ease of booking and typically offers the best price around. However, that’s not always the case, so I recommend checking the price on Hostelworld before booking. 

Both Booking.com and Hostelworld offer free cancellation on most bookings, allowing you to be more spontaneous, which is ideal for a solo trip. Found a new group of friends? Cancel your plans and go with them, hassle-free.

Conclusion

Choosing the right hostel as a gay backpacker can genuinely make or break your travel experience.

With a bit of research, clear non-negotiables, and personal preferences in mind, you can find a place that feels safe, social, and aligned with your travel style. Whether you’re looking to party, relax, or connect with like-minded travellers, trust your instincts and don’t underestimate the power of good reviews and thoughtful amenities.

Hostels have evolved—so embrace the experience, be respectful of others, and most importantly, enjoy the adventure.